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Tubgirl Monday....Or how my house shat all over the street.

Bay Arean said:
Really? Huh. I have had the impression from past anecdotes, that many of the sewer lines from my house's era, 1970s, are terra cotta and that you have to be super ginger with 'em lest they break up even worse. Seems like the root cutter would be pretty tough. My impression is that people often leave the lines somewhat damaged but manageable.

In the past, I have flushed that copper stuff down the toilet once a year or so that supposedly discourages whatever roots are already in there.
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If they are so badly broken ( yes they may be terra cotta, steel started in the sixties and seventies) They might come apart. Mine are terra cotta. If you hire rotor rooter to come over, that's what they will use. First the small cutter then the root cutter. The reason roots get in is that the mortar joint comes apart. That does not typically weaken the pipe.
 
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When a tubgirl goes missing, do they post her picture on a carton of TAMPOONS??!
 
Maiden 4EVA said:
When a tubgirl goes missing, do they post her picture on a carton of TAMPOONS??!
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:thumbup

That seems to be working better than when they posted her pic on a TUBE OF KY JELLY !
 
Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA Maiden 4EVA When a tubgirl goes missing, do they post her picture on a carton of TAMPOONS??!
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Holy Crap.
 
Wow. I missed some real drama around here.
 
Re the current watery happenings ... this is how I imagined it outside Valgar's house.

colorado_flooding_AP582394430156_fullwidth.jpg
 
Valgar said:
Round 2: Scat Monday Strikes Back.



Thus began the new saga.

Same as the first time. I haul ass home on the bike (after a stop at safeway, to buy cottage cheese which I now do not want to eat).

Get home, see the leak around the toilet, look in the tub, yup all the water is clean, hmm, so maybe it isn't the same problem as last time.....

[youtube]WrjwaqZfjIY[/youtube]

Outside I go, still in shorts and a tank....oh, and yeah, no gloves....because it couldn't POSSIBLY be the same problem...

I hit the outside trap plate to loosen it.

Then.

japanese-tsunami-speed.gif


THIS IS A BAD DREAM, AND IT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE I AM A BAD PERSON.

Just before the plate comes flying off, I see the bolus of WET WIPES coming at me like a vile feces egg from cthulhu's cloaca. FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! WHO THE FUCK FLUSHED WET WIPES!

At least shit rolls downhill, so I only had to serpentine from the scat sniper for a short while.

Ace can't come out until morning (unless I want to pay a retarded after hours fee), so ye olde hand-crank snake comes out.

At this point, I am soaked, I'm like a fucking shit-ninja, the predator couldn't find me if he tried.

So I go for it, I'm sure from behind it looked like a fecal fetish dream, guy covered in crap, hunched over, right arm churning away near his crotch.

Amazingly enough, at about 25 feet....I got it. I have no idea what IT was, probably more wet-wipes (FUCK YOU ASSHOLES THAT LABEL THEM FLUSHABLE, AND FUCK ME FOR PUTTING THEM IN THE BATHROOM AND HAVING GUESTS THINK THEY CAN FLUSH THEM), with a orgasmic BLOOP everything left drained.

I had the wife run around the house flushing toilets, turning on taps, running the showers...

Now I wait....I feel like putting on brown camo, and squatting in the laundry room off the upstairs bathroom, and silently reaching out to flush every 10 minutes, and wait....and see if the enemy is still beneath me.
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OMG.... laughing too hard... can't breathe.... still funny!! :rofl :rofl :rofl
 
Let us fast forward a bit. From SF to Alameda, a decade later.

This is pre-remodel on the house in Alameda (With a horse, a clown and a guillotine in the front yard, the horse is holding the rope, the clown is at the mercy of the horse, long story).

Gee, why is the shower and toilet havening trouble draining?

I have flashbacks, I have PTSD, I want to curl up and escape from the horror of this previous post.

1) I hear I noise....why do I hear a noise there should be no noise
2) Why is the toilet not flushing, this should not happen, this SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AGAIN
3) WHY IS THE FUCKING SHOWER NOT DRAINING, THIS MUST BE A WAKING NIGHTMARE

So
1) Idiot previous owner.....just said "fuck building codes, we ball" and dropped non code piping right into the dirt, so it just...well, did what you would expect, and eventually popped. so I'm crawling around under the house like gollum trying to recover his cock ring, and finally wind up turning all the water off, coming up looking like I was trying to hide from a predator.
2) Idiot previous owner...just said "fuck building codes, we gonna ball again" and ran the sewer line out to the street....and just left it in dirt under the house, and then dumped cement on top of it. So essentially the shit sluice got a dose of facesittining kink from a few thousand pounds of concrete.
3) See above, and remember I have been crawling around dealing with a water leak, and slithering around in sewage

So. Water pipe breaks, sewage pipe has been dumping shit and urine under the house at the same time. So now I've turned into a german kink video, and get to pay a few thousand dollars to resolve it.

Oh wait....I forgot....they did the same thing with the gas lines....so I am ALSO wondering why everything smells like someone left a stove on, because it all came together to also pop the gas lines into the house.

Are we all keeping up? Do you REALLY want to deal with owning a house? No you don't, you really don't. You want to be a head in a jar, you want to just go straight into a retirement home, owning a house is stupid, I'm stupid, I just own tools which makes me turbo stupid.

So....where was I? Oh right, I should have done all this with proper PPE...did I? No, why? Because I'm an idiot, somehow I came out of it without pinkeye, without an STD, etc.

I *DID* come out of it with a healthy amount of hatred for idiots that leave more empty beer cans than they do filled out paperwork for building codes (Oh yeah, I have more fun about what I found above my workshop, in the attic of the house, etc)

So this isn't as cool as the absolute nightmare of a shit flume spraying up from the driveway, but I figure I'm older now, and I can go outside and yell at clouds over lesser things....

The poop flume is still pretty awesome though, but at least now I have graduated to "well this might just blow up the entire house" levels of fun.
 
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