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What is bullying? Are you a bully?

ThumperX

ThumperX

Slayer of Deer
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
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Off Elk Mtn
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Big Bore and little bore Thumpers and a Twingle
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AMA #: 2817058
Lately it seems members are accused of bullying when disagreements become heated.
Is it bullying to correct someone when he/she has an opinion that when fact checked proves to be wrong?
Is it bullying when a member is corrected by multiple members for quoting absolute incorrect information? This applies to all content not political.
Is it bullying for members to be required to tolerate racist, homophobic, misogynistic, religious or any other rhetoric?
At what point do members throw up their hands and walk away?

This is serious not a bitchfest.
It would be good to finally get this clarified.
 
ThumperX said:
At what point do members throw up their hands and walk away?
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They can walk away at any point they choose... which is why there is NO bullying on barf! Bullying depends on the person being bullied not being able to get away... that is never the case here.
 
Sometimes I can get caught up in a thread where someone is defending their position, which I find to be wrong. Is it bullying? I don't know. I get stuck between trying to show how they are incorrect and the fact that multiple people are now climbing all up in their ass. I usually feel shitty afterwards and have really tried to not get caught up like I used to. It's hard.

But yeah, is it really bullying if you are standing in the doorway, blocking the path out while fighting six dudes? Maybe it's easier to just slip out the door.
 
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Just jumping in to reset the vibe a bit
I honestly didn’t even know what “horseies” (I had to figure this out before replying) meant at first, so none of this feels personal to me.
At the end of the day, this place is supposed to be fun.
No need to get your feelings hurt, and no need to hide behind keyboards either.
I’ve had my feelings hurt here before too, and I had to step back and remember what the internet and forums are actually like

Sometimes it feels like there are trolls, sure but this place also has a lot of genuinely good people.
I’ve met enough of them to know this forum is worth sticking around for, and sometimes you just have to reset and keep that in mind.
PaulR
 
Rtmac said:
They can walk away at any point they choose... which is why there is NO bullying on barf! Bullying depends on the person being bullied not being able to get away... that is never the case here.
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I disagree with this take.

Bullying is what causes someone to walk away, not the act of physically restraining someone in order to heap more abuse on them. Kids get bullied every day and every day they walk away from the bully with or without mental or physical harm.
it's still bullying (imho,oc)
 
I always thought bullying was taking advantage of someone who was smaller or less capable at something than you were.

Disagreement is not bullying unless you keep hammering away at a point well after it has been made clear.
 
I enjoy a "spirited" discussion. I am an argueer and a bit of a shit-disturber by nature (or so I've been told). I think over-moderation can make barf feel artificial and restrained.
But I'm not a bully! And if you say I am...
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Rtmac said:
I enjoy a "spirited" discussion. I am an argueer and a bit of a shit-disturber by nature (or so I've been told). I think over-moderation can make barf feel artificial and restrained.
But I'm not a bully! And if you say I am...
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Dude, you are ruled by your cute dog who bullies you into doing his bidding!

You are a victim.

Sadly my three cats do the same to me!

They are tyrants. :laughing
 
i'm the oldest of four, what do you expect? :dunno :laughing

i think bullying is targeted-trolling. when someone (on purpose or not) 'follows' another user around a website, responding to the user's posts even when not addressed directly, making a similar point or degradation to the users post that is from another thread.

it's like when my son misspeaks at the breakfast table and then his older sister corrects him throughout the rest of the day, "remember when you said xyz wrong?" let's just drop it!

if he misspeaks again it would be alright to correct in a friendly tone. if he is clearly trying to not misspeak but it happens, maybe just let it go?
 
Das MotorRad said:
when someone (on purpose or not) 'follows' another user around a website, responding to the user's posts even when not addressed directly, making a similar point or degradation to the users post that is from another thread.
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I would agree with this.
But when someone keeps coming back to the same thread with the same unpopular stance, then it's just spirited discussion (aka arguing)... and they are voluntarily participating in it.
 
Bullying, to me, is the use of power such as size, wealth, or authority, in ways meant to coerce or diminish another. This can be true of using the power of facts to bully others into supporting a perspective, or abandoning their own. Presenting an argument is one thing, but browbeating someone into acquiescence is also bullying, especially if several people are doing it at the same time. I'm as guilty of it as anyone- especially when folks are arguing against rights for marginalized peoples- but it's not right either. You win hearts and minds, you don't bully them into submission.

If this were in the PolSink I'd have a lot more to say on the matter that is demonstrated by the behavior of leaders, but I am refraining.
 
Das MotorRad said:
i'm the oldest of four, what do you expect? :dunno :laughing

i think bullying is targeted-trolling. when someone (on purpose or not) 'follows' another user around a website, responding to the user's posts even when not addressed directly, making a similar point or degradation to the users post that is from another thread.

it's like when my son misspeaks at the breakfast table and then his older sister corrects him throughout the rest of the day, "remember when you said xyz wrong?" let's just drop it!

if he misspeaks again it would be alright to correct in a friendly tone. if he is clearly trying to not misspeak but it happens, maybe just let it go?
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I can thumbs up this. If the person keeps coming back and engaging, then it's the proverbial two-to-tango.

I have a couple of folks on ignore. If I find someone tedious or their posts without merit, I put them on ignore. It's great. I advise others to do the same to create the BARF existence they want.
 
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