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Tubgirl Monday....Or how my house shat all over the street.

DReg350 said:
I was sitting next to my wife on the couch, surfing BARF when I read it and had the same reaction. I was soaked in tears of laughter. The more I read, the worse it got for Valgar and me. That really was one of THE best posts I can remember reading in a loooong time. That was awesome. :wow :rofl::cry:rofl:cry:rofl
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Yeah... but you haven't read the epsom salt thread he wrote... someone pleze to link????
 
Round 2: Scat Monday Strikes Back.

Janelle Slavik
So the toilet down stairs looks like it is leaking
Dave Slavik
god dammit
I wonder if that started when everything was backed up
I'll check it, but might need to go to lowes to fix it, so might have to do that tomorrow.
Janelle Slavik
No its just clean water
No smell
Its not backing up- yet
Dave Slavik
huh, that is odd
leaking around the base?
Janelle Slavik
Yes
Dave Slavik
chances are will have to redo the wax seal
Janelle Slavik
But the tub stopped draining
Dave Slavik
what
?
Janelle Slavik
I am not sure
Dave Slavik
fucking fucking fucking hell
I'm calling you
Click to expand...

Thus began the new saga.

Same as the first time. I haul ass home on the bike (after a stop at safeway, to buy cottage cheese which I now do not want to eat).

Get home, see the leak around the toilet, look in the tub, yup all the water is clean, hmm, so maybe it isn't the same problem as last time.....

[youtube]WrjwaqZfjIY[/youtube]

Outside I go, still in shorts and a tank....oh, and yeah, no gloves....because it couldn't POSSIBLY be the same problem...

I hit the outside trap plate to loosen it.

Then.

japanese-tsunami-speed.gif


THIS IS A BAD DREAM, AND IT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE I AM A BAD PERSON.

Just before the plate comes flying off, I see the bolus of WET WIPES coming at me like a vile feces egg from cthulhu's cloaca. FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! WHO THE FUCK FLUSHED WET WIPES!

At least shit rolls downhill, so I only had to serpentine from the scat sniper for a short while.

Ace can't come out until morning (unless I want to pay a retarded after hours fee), so ye olde hand-crank snake comes out.

At this point, I am soaked, I'm like a fucking shit-ninja, the predator couldn't find me if he tried.

So I go for it, I'm sure from behind it looked like a fecal fetish dream, guy covered in crap, hunched over, right arm churning away near his crotch.

Amazingly enough, at about 25 feet....I got it. I have no idea what IT was, probably more wet-wipes (FUCK YOU ASSHOLES THAT LABEL THEM FLUSHABLE, AND FUCK ME FOR PUTTING THEM IN THE BATHROOM AND HAVING GUESTS THINK THEY CAN FLUSH THEM), with a orgasmic BLOOP everything left drained.

I had the wife run around the house flushing toilets, turning on taps, running the showers...

Now I wait....I feel like putting on brown camo, and squatting in the laundry room off the upstairs bathroom, and silently reaching out to flush every 10 minutes, and wait....and see if the enemy is still beneath me.
 
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^^^ :rofl






I dunno if buying a house is my kinda thang....
 
I'll just leave this here... it's gel form, for those hard to reach places...

 
Remind me NOT to hug you the next time I see you.
 
sfcootz said:
Remind me NOT to hug you the next time I see you.
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Thanks for the reminder to hug you.

I will give you processed taco kisses.

As the wife said:
"Stop touching things! I had to follow you around and clean everything you touched, because it all smelled like crap"
 
This thread is relevant to my interests
 
Damn man, install a bidet up in there already. No more wet wipes, and you'll cut down on your water bill cause you'll only bother showering like once a week.
 
Valgar said:
Thanks for the reminder to hug you.

I will give you processed taco kisses.

As the wife said:
"Stop touching things! I had to follow you around and clean everything you touched, because it all smelled like crap"
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Processed taco kisses? :barf :barf :barf :rofl

I'm so sorry for janelle. And, for myself in advance.
 
asthmodeus said:
Damn man, install a bidet up in there already. No more wet wipes, and you'll cut down on your water bill cause you'll only bother showering like once a week.
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I DON'T USE THE WET WIPES!

I will not even go into why there are in there, but I am taking them out, they will never be ANYWHERE that someone can get to them, and throw them in a toilet.

:mad
 
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