• There has been a recent cluster of spammers accessing BARFer accounts and posting spam. To safeguard your account, please consider changing your password. It would be even better to take the additional step of enabling 2 Factor Authentication (2FA) on your BARF account. Read more here.

Big drop in kindergarden enrollment and birth rates across the country

Melissa….yea, I know that. But sometimes it’s so hard to do. Especially as one approaches the end of their life and they live alone.

I will continue to work on it.

Thank you.
 
ST Guy said:
Brokenlink, you don’t need a ban. But perhaps some compassion might be more useful.
Click to expand...
Dude, read the damn thread. I had compassion. I actually felt horrible for you the first time you told this story. One of the times you told the story, you actually posted her facebook page. I went and looked at it, then browsed to see if she seemed as you described. I honestly don't remember so I don't hgave an opinion on that. But compassion? Yeah bro I felt and still feel for you. I've been cheated on, I know the feeling. I've had friends and GFs decide they prefer substances over substance. I feel for you.

But give it a damn rest. We know how you feel about your ex, and to think nobody cares is completely erroneous. But most people have past trauma in their lives and they cope with it in more productive ways than highjacking thread after thread to bitterly talk about those issues.

As far as the mental health thread, I am not rehashing that with you. Multiple people explained your question to you. You never got it.

Again Martin, I have nothing against you. You seem like a decent guy that has had some shit happen in his life. We probably have a lot in common. But I don't want your story rehashed over and over. Perhaps it awakens other people's past traumas. Perhaps have some compassion for them.
 
ST Guy said:
Especially as one approaches the end of their life and they live alone.
Click to expand...
Maybe there's something here to work on for an improved outlook.
Based on your "live alone" comment I'm picturing someone alone in their house day after day, each day like the last, with little stimulation or purpose.

If that's the case, getting out of the house more often might be what you need. There are plenty of organizations that could use your help in a volunteer situation for example.
Hospitals, old folks' homes, churches, thrift stores, food banks, animal shelters, tutoring all come to mind.
It does the spirit good to help others and make a difference in their lives. It gives purpose to your own life, adds structure and most importantly in your case, it keeps the mind busy.
You'd stop living in your own mind and gain a more outward focused perspective which I think you could really use right now.

I know you've had a stroke and perhaps your mobility is limited but you can still join organizations that could accommodate you.

Something to consider.
 
ST Guy said:
What brought it all up again was learning recently that she lied to all her family and friends about why we broke up. She blamed me and hid the truth. I had put the matter to bed many years ago. Now I have to do it again.
Click to expand...
You've mentioned this before, some time ago. I've got to ask, in the interest of people being able to put this in context: Do you remember telling us that previously? Is it possible you're reaching a point where memory is not always clear? It's a lot to ask of a guy to admit if it's the case, and I know it wouldn't be fun to contemplate. On the other hand, if it's a factor in your having posted several times about the situation, I'd like to think that people here could work with you a bit.
 
Climber said:
Ah, the thought police have arrived.
Click to expand...
No, just the bullshit police.
Climber said:
He was one of the people who got ass with a few lines. Were you jealous?

STD's were pretty rpevalent back then and why would I date a woman would would give it up so easily? This is a judgment YOU are making about how OTHERS view sexual intercourse. If YOU have decided casual sex in a moral no-no, then by all means do not engage in it. To believe that YOUR judgement of OTHER peoples sexual activity is valid while there's is not is just a continuation of slut shaming, patriarchy and misogyny.

Sorry, you may trust somebody like that, I have more respect for myself and less trust for people like that. Do you realize that who you put your penis in is also up to you right? Here is a thought, If your concerned that a potential partner my have an STI, ask them about it. You are even free to ask for recent test results before you agree to swap fluids. That is in your control.

Seems like you're on a kick of telling people how they should act morally. What are your qualifications for holding such a moral high ground? These sentences are projection. You did NOTHING but judge other people in this post.
Click to expand...
In my experience, people who are incredibly concerned about the body count of their partner are just masking insecurities. Get over it. Conversations about sexual health are valid. Slut shaming is just a shrimp dick move.
 
Martin,

To give you a personal perspective on why I react to your story so much, let me tell you my version. I met Jennifer in a hot tub at the apartment complex we both llived in. I was in Jr college and living with my mom, my best friend having recently ripped me off and stealing my rent money for meth. We hit it off right away and quickly became inseparable. We were going to get married, have kids, etc. One time we almost did, but she miscarried.

We moved to San Jose and I went to SJSU. She got a job as a security guard where she met Muscles McBeefcake. The day I found out she was screwing Mr. McBeefcake, I learned several valuable lessons. First, doing cocaine with a 6'5" security guard is way better than staying with your college bound boyfriend. Second, the walls of old Victorian houses are not made of sheetrock. And third, the hand has many bones to break.

So I moved on, went to college, and lived my life. She, on the other hand got married to Mr. McBeefcake, had a son, got addicted to pills, divorced Mr. McBeefcake then married his father because he was rich (yes, the son's grandfather was also his stepfather), got her mom and mom's boyfriend addicted to pills, then overdosed in front of her 10 year old son and lay dying on the kitchen floor for three days before they eventually called the ambulance. She died ten years ago that night.

I don't think about her often these days. But every time I read your story it makes me remember what could have been. What was. I don't tell this story often. It makes my heart hurt.
 
ST Guy said:
But perhaps some compassion might be more useful.
Click to expand...
Just be nice. She's somebody's daughter. You can tell your story (if you must) without the name calling and the graphic details. Lots of people cheat... lots of people get divorced. Get over it. I doubt that she's as exactly what you portray her to be.
And I find the fact that you randomly bring it up in totally unrelated thread-after-thread to be quite odd.
Time and place.
 
Last edited:
Brokenlink…I get that your heart still hurts. Mine does too.

I will refrain from ever mentioning my ex again.

May you find peace in your life.
 
Rtmac said:
Just be nice. She's somebody's daughter. You can tell your story (if you must) without the name calling and the graphic details. Lots of people cheat... lots of people get divorced. Get over it. I doubt that she's as exactly what you portray her to be.
And I find the fact that you randomly bring it up in totally unrelated thread-after-thread to be quite odd.
Click to expand...

Yes, she is someone’s daughter. I loved her parents and they loved me. I was a member of their family. And that was another thing I lost.
 
tzrider said:
You've mentioned this before, some time ago. I've got to ask, in the interest of people being able to put this in context: Do you remember telling us that previously? Is it possible you're reaching a point where memory is not always clear? It's a lot to ask of a guy to admit if it's the case, and I know it wouldn't be fun to contemplate. On the other hand, if it's a factor in your having posted several times about the situation, I'd like to think that people here could work with you a bit.
Click to expand...

Nah, my mind is clear with no impediments. I simply don’t keep track of everything I post. It’s kind of hard with over 20,000 posts. I will, however, refrain from posting about my personal trials and tribulations.
 
I do not shit talk women. Never have. I have always respected women the same as I respect all human beings.

But, if someone shows me that they do not deserve respect, then I will withhold my respect and openly tell the truth about them. Man or woman. It makes no difference to me.

It is by their actions that I know people. It is not by their sex that I know them. And women get no more respect than men do.
 
Last edited:
You could try "My first wife was unfaithful. It ended our marriage. All these years later I'm still very upset by it."
You could try being strong, controlling your emotions and leaving out the name calling and personal details... or not, that's your business.
But as far as I know, I'm free to comment on anything I see here... and I will.
 
Rtmac said:
You could try "My first wife was unfaithful. It ended our marriage. All these years later I'm still very upset by it."
You could try being strong, controlling your emotions and leaving out the name calling and personal details... or not, that's your business.
But as far as I know, I'm free to comment on anything I see here... and I will.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are. And you do.
 
I think my stance on the subject is the same as your stance on politics... Keep it to yourself, this isn't the place.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top